I have a vivid collection of what took place a year ago, yesterday. I couldn’t sleep the night before due to my overwhelming sense of anticipation (if I could jump out of my skin, trust me. I would) and excitement in meeting - hearing – cuddling – kissing you for the first time. Daddy and I have been looking forward to this day for the last five years and we have forever been changed since you came into our lives.
Daddy and I hardly slept the night before. At 6am, I jumped out of bed (kind of) and into the shower. Since the day my pregnancy was confirmed, I have paid very special attention to my burgeoning belly by caressing, poking and telling you how much I love you every single day and many times a day. Shortly after, we left home for the hospital.
At 7am, we were checked in and I was prepped. The next 1.5 hours would be the longest for Daddy and me as we savoured the order & silence around us while trying desperately to keep ourselves calm amidst the excitement and anticipation. We knew we were just moments away from the out-of-this-world humungous change and one that no one or books can ever prepare one for.
At 8:30am, we were in our surgical outfits and walked to the theatre. We sat holding hands and smiling like a pair of teenagers on our first date while the midwives went through all the paperwork with us. Yes, each of you had your own mid wife.
At 8:45am, I sat on the surgical table while the Anaesthetist explained the procedure of pain management, Daddy was on the chair taking it all in, the Obstetrician filling in the paperwork at the other end of the theatre and the medical team of 8 hovering around waiting for the ‘show’ to start!
At 8:50am, the epidural was inserted and I lay down on the table as gingerly as possible. Checks were made to ensure that I could not feel a thing from chest down. It was a weird sensation and I love it because I will not be in pain! The sheet was drawn up. Daddy and I looked at each other.
At 9:00am, everyone was ready. I felt tugging and no pain.
At 9:08am, the first cry! Out comes Charlotte. Wow! What strong lungs you have and you look nothing like your 4D scans! You are so beautiful. Your midwife placed you on my chest and you looked straight into my eyes. That intensity bore straight into my heart and my soul. You are my daughter and I am your mummy.
At 9:09am, another cry! Out comes Daniel. WOW! Another powerful set of lungs and all I managed to see were your hands waving above the sheet. You were taken to be checked and so was your sister. Your daddy went along and had the honours of cutting your umbilical cords.
I could hear the both of you screaming from the other room while I was being stitched up and checked over. Both of you are out and alive! The Obstetrician tells me that you are both healthy and perfect. No need for NICU. WOW. I have done my job in nurturing you to full-term and you in return, grew according to plan!
At 10:00am, I was wheeled into recovery. It was then that I met you, Daniel for the first time. You were so alert. Taking in everything around you and did I tell you how handsome you are? Blonde hair and all. The nurse placed the both of you on my chest and at that moment, I knew I will love and protect the both of you for the rest of my life. I will do whatever that is within my capability and more to provide you with all the opportunities that you desire and need to have a full life. I will accept and love you for who you are even if I may not agree with some of the choices you make and above all, you will always have a home with me.
I have forever been changed and am so grateful that you chose me to be your mummy.
Charlotte, you have such a positive outlook and an easy going personality. Your smiles and cuddles make a good day, great. An inquisitive little girl who is always on the go and enjoys having chit chats!
Daniel, you possess a very kind heart and loves fury friends. When you laugh, everyone laughs with you. You always enjoy your cuddles and when it comes to eating and drinking, you must have it now! You love following your sister around the home and she loves mimicking you!
You have taught and shown me so much about myself and of the environment around us. I have grown as a person because of you. Thank you.
As your mummy, my wish for you is that you will always be good mates. That you will always look out for each other and always have the best interest of each other at heart. Always be honest, respectful and loving towards each other especially when it is ‘easier’ not to be.
Yesterday was your first birthdays. Daddy and I cannot believe that 12 months have already passed and everyday is different. There’s never a dull moment and we are so privilege to watch you grow up – constant exploration and discovery of the world around you, cheeky antics that baffles us, the smiles of love and recognition that makes us feel so special, the need for protection and total depends that reminds us that you trust us implicitly and most importantly, we are a family.
You are much loved, much cherished and very special to us.
Happy Birthday, Charlotte and Daniel! You are my endless loves.