Tuesday, October 23, 2012

My Children Miss Me


It's become very apparent to me that the twins are becoming very aware of what's going on around them especially when it involves me.
Since returning to corporate work in late January, I have been away from home a couple of times and it never affected them & me until the most recent trip.
I always miss them whenever they are away from me and in my most recent trip away, I missed them so acutely that I would feel my heart ache, quite literally. In my absence, Jared ensure the twins' daily routine remained the same - he's a wonderful daddy to them and supportive husband to me.
 
When I got home on Friday night (been away from home since Wednesday), I was counting on a refreshing shower and jumping into bed for much-needed sleep. What I wasn't counting on was Charlotte sitting on the couch with Jared watching television at 8:30pm. She was calm and awake (her brother retired to bed at the usual time of 6:30pm). When she saw me, she smiled. I knew. She wanted me. I went straight to her and she laid on my chest and murmured 'ma ma'. My heart just melted.
 
All the aches & tiredness associated with air travel and the lack of proper sleep from previous nights associated with a busy work schedule did not matter. What matter most was my one on one time with my darling Charlotte.
 
I took her to bed with me (a rarity) and laid her next to me. She placed her hand on my chest and again murmured 'ma ma'. I wept silently. I miss her too. We both fell asleep shortly after before I woke up when Jared lifted her out of our bed and cuddled - walked her into the bedroom she shares with her brother.
 
The next few days were a little challenging with Daniel. He would cry and cling onto me when he woke up in the mornings. His record? 1 hour 40 mins. The only way to get him to calm down is for me to sit with him and ONLY HIM - talk, cuddle, read, feed until he was ready to tear himself from me.  Yes, clinging onto me and refusing to let me go.
 
What did I do with work then? I rang my boss and told her I would be late because I have a son who misses me desperately. The other thing I did was scheduled my work commitments so that I could work from home (one day) to enable my participation in their morning routine until they left the home with Jared for Kindy.  
 
It is inevitable that each business trip will become increasingly difficult for all of us. This is our life. Our reality. Another dilemma of a Working Mother.

2 comments:

  1. Ah Well... I can so relate to this.

    C gets super grumpy on Monday mornings, especially, now that he's aware of our routines. He will reluctantly wave goodbye - but of course, my heart will be heavier than his apparent sadness.

    He sees me in the evenings, runs to me, and refuses to let me go. Those moments make motherhood so worthwhile.

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    Replies
    1. HUGS to you and to all working parents out there.

      Parenthood is certainly not for the faint-hearted. I am only starting to realize the depth & breathe of the bond I share with each of my children.

      I am so bless and lucky to be gifted with them.

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