Monday, February 4, 2013

Motherhood: {Finally} Getting into the Groove?


Being an organised person, it comes as no surprise that I embrace the routine method of raising Charlotte and Daniel so that we all know what's happening at certain fixed times of the day and sleep trained them at 10 weeks to ensure that all of us enjoy good quality sleep overnight.

Being an organised person also means it is very hard for me to not be in control and to give control to someone else / an organisation. That's why I get cranky {quite often} if things don't go according to plan including housework. Anyway, I digress.

Perhaps that's why I am gifted with twins so that I am forced to re-evaluate my practices and this is what I have learnt in the last 22 months:

  • Children are very resilient and adaptable. It is adults who freak out!

  • Children will eat as much or as little as they desire. It is their's and nature's way of ensuring that they don't get obese. This has finally sunk in for me and meal times are so much more pleasant and relaxing. They will not starve. I am one of those parents who feels better knowing that my children have eaten something (I offer foods like cheese cubes, wholemeal bread, greek yoghurt and fresh fruits as alternatives) as oppose to going to be on an empty stomach.

  • Children are happiest when the people they love {most} and can be truely vulnerable with are present and happy. In their case, it's the husband and I.

  • Children love talking and exploring. Do not interrupt them and let them be as that is one of the most effective ways for them to learn cause & effect (when I became a mummy, the back and sides of my heads grew eyes so I know what's happening).

  • Children thrive on routine and boundaries. It makes them feel secure and us, to 'look like' we know what we are doing.

  • Children will have tantrums - Some last for mere seconds and others take a much longer time (when that happens, I sit down and make myself comfortable because my children like me close by when this happens and if I walk away, it makes matter worse).

  • Children 'feed off' our moods. If we are relax and happy so will they be. 
The points mentioned above are common sense and sometimes, it is really hard to put them into practise (especially fussy at meal times and tantrums). I am human, afterall.

I believe in showing my vulnerabilities (within reason so as not to scare them) to my children because they need to know that it is okay to express emotion and it is even more okay to pick oneself up after having a hard time. That's life.

I enjoy being mummy to Charlotte and Daniel.
I treasure the quality time we have every afternoon on the 4 days that I work.
I cherish the time we have on the 3 days that I do not work.
I love our cuddles, kisses, dances and tickles.
I love them with all my heart, soul and mind.

Above all that, I love my husband who puts up with my crankiness, craziness and obsessiveness. {This is not an after thought}

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