My first born has been testing my patience for the last few days - insisting on certain things to be done a certain way, regressing back to being a baby (wanting to be swaddled in a towel and held like a baby), not wanting to eat her dinner unless she's sitting on my lap, etc.
In hindsight, they really aren't "big" problems. I simply have no capacity to put up with what I deem to be undesirable behaviour.
Anyway, it was full on drama mode after bath. Charlotte refused to be towelled dry, refused to have her nappy on...refused everything that we would do every night prior to bedtime since she was born.
I had enough and snapped. Smacked her hand and quickly put her nappy and her top on with her thrashing her body on the floor. Then I smack her bottom (with my hand landing on her nappy) and quickly put her pants on. Then she went to her daddy for cuddles, crying.
I stayed on in the kids' room to ensure that Daniel had finished his milk, played with him a little and put him in his cot.
I then said to the husband that I need to leave the room because I cannot be in the same room as Charlotte anymore. With that, I shut their door behind me and I have not seen her since 6:30pm yesterday.
I had a restless night and miss Charlotte desperately.
I want to cuddle, kiss and tell her that I love her very, very much.