Monday, November 25, 2013

Encouragement without saying "well done" all the time


There's certainly nothing wrong in saying "well done" / "good job". In fact, I think the challenge for most parents, myself included is in forgetting to reaffirm good behaviour for a job well done just because other priorities take precedence in that moment. For example, bolognaise sauce is cooking on the stove top and I can smell it burning.
 
When I offer encouragement / praise to my child, my preference is to get down to his/her level - make eye contact - touch him / her on their arm and tell that child the reason for the encouragement / praise.  
 
Children like to please their parents.
 
For example, Charlotte has set our dinning table with placemats and cutlery. I stop whatever I am doing, go up to her - get down to her level - make eye contact - touch her on her arm and say "Thank you! You've done such a good job of setting the table for dinner. I am very happy." {Yes, my 2.5 year old sets the table for meals}. Another example, Daniel packs up his toy on his own accord without any nagging. I stop what I am going, go up to him - get down to his level - make eye contact - touch him on his arm and say "Thank you for packing your toys away. It is so tidy. I am very happy."
 
I started using a new catch phrase and it starts with I LOVE ... A good example of this is depicted by the photo above. My children playing nicely and quietly. Now, I love moments like this. Really, which parent doesn't? This is seriously pause and smell the roses type scenario. Therefore, while they are playing and I am sitting on the couch catching a break, I say, " I LOVE watching you play." I no longer keep those I LOVE moments in my head, I now convey it to them so that they know it too.
 
 
Wishing you a splendid start of the week,
 


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