Monday, November 11, 2013

Your neighbours are watching and listening

I reckon my neighbours think about me as much as I think about what they must be thinking about me because I have a VERY LOUD VOICE.
I have three immediate neighbours. One on each side (I know them) and one directly behind (I don't know them). Thankfully, our homes are all low-set and the only way we can check out each other's backyards undetected is by climbing onto a ladder OR jumping on a trampoline.
I am pretty sure they are forming opinions about me as a mother based on the sounds coming from our home and that's why, I have taken to incorporating key messages into the nagging of the children.
The following scenarios happen whether or not my neighbours are home and if they are, all the better:
Opportunity to inform my neighbours that I have a high standard of hygiene
You've just done a poo! We need to change your nappy now! C'mon, don't run away from me! It is not nice to run around with yucky bottom. It is UNCIVILISED!
Opportunity to inform my neighbours that my kids do not stay in their PJs all day
C'mon, let's get changed. We need to go out and you cannot go out in your PJs. Hurry up! It is not appropriate to wear your PJs out in public, you need to get changed NOW! Don't run away from me. Come back here NOW!
Opportunity to inform my neighbours that I am a great mum who is also community-minded
I want the both of you to stop fighting. Sort this out among yourselves quickly and quietly because I do not want to hear anymore ruckus and OUR NEIGHBOUR would not either. Stop it now or I am going to take it away from the both of you.
Stop making all that noise in the backyard. It is only 7am and OUR NEIGHBOURS are still sleeping! SSSSHHHHHHHH.
So what about you? Have your neighbours seen and / or heard anything they shouldn't have?
Inquisitively yours,
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