Tuesday, June 3, 2014

The dream of a family: 7 characteristics that will serve you well as a parent

2 day young infants and 3 year old toddlers

Before I had kids...
I wondered what the big deal was having them.
 
After multiple failed attempts at having kids...
I learnt what despair meant and resented my body for not doing what it was meant to do.
 
Now that I have kids...
I know what the big deal is all about and my life is truly richer & fuller for them.
 
Upon reflection of my journey to becoming a parent, I learnt that I have a newfound respect for the following characteristics when I tried for years to be pregnant and how those same characteristics have served me as a parent:
 
patience
because you will need all that and more when you are no longer in control of your own body.
This is the same skill you will be employing when you want to leave the home to run a quick errand with your child.
 
determination
because you will need all that and more after each failed attempt.
Especially when you are dealing with your child who is just as stubborn as you are.
 
try again so long as you (and your spouse) share the same dream
because there is no alternative.
This is what you will be instilling in your child - to keep trying and never give up just when something is hard.
 
trust
because you need to trust the medical team who are trained to do their respective jobs. When your child is unwell and you feel utterly helpless at taking away his/her pain.
 
fierce protection
because you need to protect yourself from hurt, anguish and disappointment.
This is how you will feel when you hold your baby in your arms for the first time.
 
surrender
because your brain and heart are numb.
There are just some battles with kids that just ain't worth fighting about. Trust me. It's not about spoiling the kid, it's about the preservation of sanity.
 
look outside the box: other options
because you can if you choose to.
You will be teaching your child how to look at a situation from various perspectives. All part of problem solving.

 

 

If you are still dreaming about having a family, hold onto those dreams because dreams do come true. It may not be in the manner you expect and really, it wouldn't matter because the desire of your heart will be fulfilled.

 
 

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